Ready or Not

I'm really tired of the question "Are you ready for school to start?" School is such a big thing - it's like asking me if I'm ready for life. The short answer is no. I'm not ready for the pressure and long days and constant scheduling of my every waking moment. It's something I choose but it somehow seems involuntary. I want to journal and play guitar - to take a pottery class and do yoga, yet somehow my inner voice doesn't let me. "Do homework", it says. I DON'T EVEN HAVE HOMEWORK YET. Is there a balance between academics, Senate, and who I was before all of this? My goal is to find it - without losing all I have gained. To walk away from it all is to walk away from everything I know. How do I get parts of me back without disregarding what experience has taught me?