My Journey

Friday, March 12, 2010

Forcing Change

Today was our network wide PD day - a 'family reunion' of sorts, and in many ways, a goodbye party.
I said goodbye to many people I will not see again before I leave; acquaintances I've come to respect tremendously over the last 2 years, and who will ensure that our kids get to college long after I'm gone.
Ironically, I also had my first check in with my TFA supervisor tonight.
It's a perfect example of life lately - 90% here, 10% there, 100% questioning and in transition.
I remind myself that this is normal. That I've never been 100% about any move I've ever made in my entire life, including when I moved here. That the most important things about this city are coming with me - my hubby, my doggies, and the experience I've earned. And that the reasons for leaving are bigger than any reasons for staying - that we want our kids to grow up the way we grew up - surrounded by family, green grass, and a slower pace of life.
Yet I can't help but feel like I'm leaving so much behind. New York pizza, Central Park, the opporutnity to be a part of a huge movement in urban education, a job that most people would kill to have at 27, the freedom that comes with living out my dream...
I almost wish it was just here already. The in between is so hard.

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