Waiting for tomorrow

Tomorrow he'll be here - it's been way too long. The last two weeks have been full of fights and break ups and asking myself whether this is what I really want. When I look into the future I don't see myself with anyone else. I see myself alone and happy or with him and happy, but no in between.
It's awkward, seeing him after weeks like this. Do I hug him and cry and show him how relieved I am that finally we can be together. Or do I protect my head and my heart and have 'the discussion' once and for all? Somehow I can't find the strength to not hug him and while we're together, we pretend that everything's okay. He holds me and everything we've said goes away...but eventually he lets go, leaves, and it all comes back. 'Maybe this time will be different' , I tell myself. It needs to be - it will be.