Ugh

So it's that time of year...when I ask myself why I'm here, in Bemidji. It's grey and cold and the weather is constantly taunting me with it's 'soon I will bury you in snow' attitude. I have tons of homework to do but somehow have become very good at just not doing it...the 'senioritis' I swore I would never get is eating me alive and I have this ever increasing desire for my time here to be done.
My grandpa is in the hospital, Liyah was a bunny for Halloween. I'm missing so much, and the more I miss the more important family is to me. A big part of me still feels like this is where I was supposed to go to college. The friends I've made and the things that I've experienced have allowed me to discover who I am...but there's also a part of me that will never forgive myself for not being there for my family, and for not having plans to go back.