Epiphany
We've been friends for the last 4 years. At times we were closer than others, but friends none the less.
In the beginning he fascinated me. He had a focus and a drive I'd never seen before. There were times when he let that focus push me away, which caused resentment, which eventually led to an apology and a good conversation. At times I've felt like his equal, at other times felt like I had nothing to offer the friendship. Good times and bad, I never really got him - until today.
I have a job - my dream job, in fact, at least for this stage in my career. Not only do I have it, but I have a year to prepare for it. I will be teaching special ed - I've had one class that prepares me for that. I'll read and volunteer and soak up all I can and I'll be ready. 100 times more ready than I am now.
It's as if by always knowing what I wanted to do, I missed the passion that comes with discovering it.
Today...riding my bike home from the rec...I discovered it again and it came with this overwhelming sense of focus.
I have a purpose - a very specific one. I will study. I will teach. I will advocate. I will seek relationships with those who inspire and support me, and not worry so much about those who don't.
Everything he's been trying to teach me for the last 4 years suddenly makes sense.
Weird.
In the beginning he fascinated me. He had a focus and a drive I'd never seen before. There were times when he let that focus push me away, which caused resentment, which eventually led to an apology and a good conversation. At times I've felt like his equal, at other times felt like I had nothing to offer the friendship. Good times and bad, I never really got him - until today.
I have a job - my dream job, in fact, at least for this stage in my career. Not only do I have it, but I have a year to prepare for it. I will be teaching special ed - I've had one class that prepares me for that. I'll read and volunteer and soak up all I can and I'll be ready. 100 times more ready than I am now.
It's as if by always knowing what I wanted to do, I missed the passion that comes with discovering it.
Today...riding my bike home from the rec...I discovered it again and it came with this overwhelming sense of focus.
I have a purpose - a very specific one. I will study. I will teach. I will advocate. I will seek relationships with those who inspire and support me, and not worry so much about those who don't.
Everything he's been trying to teach me for the last 4 years suddenly makes sense.
Weird.
posted by Julie @ 6:44 PM
6 Comments:
At 9:26 PM ,
Dr. Gregory Roberts said...
What will you advocate?
At 10:33 PM ,
Julie said...
If I had infinite amounts of time I would advocate for a few different causes.
Since I don't, I'll probably focus most of my time on educational equity issues - making sure that all kids have access to quality education and good teachers, especially kids labeled 'at risk' or 'special needs'...they're really just under believed in.
At 8:50 PM ,
wanderer said...
Who is this "he?"
At 9:48 PM ,
Berne said...
Whoever "he" is, he must've had an impact on you.
I'm glad someone believes in special ed. A kid came in to the lab yesterday and told me he didn't believe in mainstreaming and too much money got spent on special ed...I wanted to punch him out.
At 11:30 PM ,
Julie said...
Kamran -
Who do you think 'he' is?
At 9:32 PM ,
Laura said...
I hope I inspire you because I really like spending time with you.. How about it's OK if I don't inspire you if you inspire me? Cuz then we could still hang out.
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