Random Acts of Badness
The biography of Danny Bonaduce and my prize at the white elephant gift exchange at our Senate Christmas party. Had a good time, Nicole's house was somehow comforting - like being at home. Houses of married people have a certain comfort level I don't feel like our house has...
Came out and someone had written bull shit on my windshield in silly string...I wonder who that was (ahem - JAKEUS).
Standing by the bonfire Jon, P, and I somehow got to talking about long distance relationships. It's always good to talk to other people who are going through the same thing. They know how fights over little things are only intensified by miles, and how moments of vulnerability turn in to anger when the person isn't here to see that all you really need is a hug.
Brandon and I have fought more in the last few months than I hope we do ever again in our lifetimes. Not fighting over real differences in belief systems - but over the fact that we're apart, that he's not here and I'm not there. Over doing things with other people, even though we realize it's important to have our own lives. Over balancing alone time and friend time when we do see each other. Over frustrations we have with other things that spill over into us, even when we swear they won't. I didn't expect it to be perfect, but I didn't expect it to be like this either. To say that and know that other people understand is comforting and reassuring.
For some reason we seem to be particularly bad at it, which is sometimes amusing, but mostly frustrating. When he was here our relationship was very spontaneous. We saw each other when we wanted and did what we wanted without much planning or thought. That doesn't work now. We need to plan more and make our plans a priority. While flexibility is good, making plans and then saying, 'I have too much homework,' or 'I don't want to drive,' or 'I could work and pick up hours' is ridiculous and will tear us apart. I need to treat him like I treat other people - like I treat my job - as a priority - and he needs to do the same.
What the heck ever happened to fairy tale endings? Prince Charming isn't supposed to ride away on his white horse without taking you with him.
Came out and someone had written bull shit on my windshield in silly string...I wonder who that was (ahem - JAKEUS).
Standing by the bonfire Jon, P, and I somehow got to talking about long distance relationships. It's always good to talk to other people who are going through the same thing. They know how fights over little things are only intensified by miles, and how moments of vulnerability turn in to anger when the person isn't here to see that all you really need is a hug.
Brandon and I have fought more in the last few months than I hope we do ever again in our lifetimes. Not fighting over real differences in belief systems - but over the fact that we're apart, that he's not here and I'm not there. Over doing things with other people, even though we realize it's important to have our own lives. Over balancing alone time and friend time when we do see each other. Over frustrations we have with other things that spill over into us, even when we swear they won't. I didn't expect it to be perfect, but I didn't expect it to be like this either. To say that and know that other people understand is comforting and reassuring.
For some reason we seem to be particularly bad at it, which is sometimes amusing, but mostly frustrating. When he was here our relationship was very spontaneous. We saw each other when we wanted and did what we wanted without much planning or thought. That doesn't work now. We need to plan more and make our plans a priority. While flexibility is good, making plans and then saying, 'I have too much homework,' or 'I don't want to drive,' or 'I could work and pick up hours' is ridiculous and will tear us apart. I need to treat him like I treat other people - like I treat my job - as a priority - and he needs to do the same.
What the heck ever happened to fairy tale endings? Prince Charming isn't supposed to ride away on his white horse without taking you with him.
posted by Julie @ 7:44 PM
1 Comments:
At 10:54 AM ,
Angela said...
You aren't bad at it...It's just hard. It's hard and it's no fun. We fought the entire time we were separated and it scared the shit out of me because I thought it meant that we'd be fighting forever. But you're right - it's the demon of the separation. It causes doubts, vulnerability and petty arguments. Now that we're together, that much is better at least.
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