Dear Lindsi,

Your paper about Toby made me cry for the entire first half of the day. I couldn't look at you in the union today, knowing that I so desperately wanted what you had, but not feeling jealous at all, just happy for you and anxious for when we too would get to have a face to face conversation.
As much as I tried I couldn't stop the tears, and as I walked out the doors in the union I hoped no one would notice.
For the second half of the day I thought. Did I love him or the idea of him? I wanted so desperately to love the idea of him - I don't. I love him. He's always late and he loves junk food. He handles crises by shutting out the entire world, and is distant when I need him to be open. We are not what I pictured in my 'Cinderella story'...but we're more.
All afternoon I felt like I had made the wrong decision by walking away and as hard as I tried I couldn't stop thinking about it. Admitting that love isn't always easy and that relationships take incredible amounts of work is just as difficult as walking away. I don't know that we have it in us to do the work or if the pain we've been through can ever be forgotten, but I feel like we have a choice, and that we're making it together. So thanks :)
Julie