Decision Made

Student teaching cannot be waived.
I will attempt to defer my acceptance into TFA.
I have accepted my internship in the cities, and am currently looking for a part time job to supplement my free labor.
I will go home for a couple of weeks after graduation and hang out with my family, including the coolest baby in the entire world.
I'll come back and spend time with Brandon. Not large, scheduled out, pressure filled blocks of time...but smaller blocks of time over coffee and dinner and movies and laughter - like it used to be. I'll work for more of the moments where I look in to his eyes and see the person I fell in love with...when his laughter or car dancing or the way he reaches over to rub my neck will remind me why we've been fighting so hard. The moments where I'm frustrated or questioning or insecure or jealous will not go away, but the pain they bring will be made less by his mere presence, and together we will learn to have less of those moments and more of the good ones.
I didn't stay for him or our relationship. People are going to think that and that's fine. I know and he knows and that's what really matters.
For now I find comfort in knowing the decision has been made.