I wish it was as cut and dry as getting my student teaching waived. It's not. Emotions come in and as much as I don't want them to they play a big role.
The thought of leaving him breaks my heart. Of hugging him and knowing it could be the last time - knowing that him leaving was probably the worst decision we've ever made together and now we have the chance to make the decision again and we're deciding the same thing.
It doesn't make sense and the fact that his response to my tears is an indifferent, "I don't know what to tell you," makes me feel like he's already walking away before the decision has even been made.