I drift one way, then the other. I try to logically stay in the middle, and at times I'm equally okay with either staying or going.
Trying to prepare myself equally for both options without being overwhelmed by all the uncertainties takes every ounce of energy I have.
It wasn't supposed to be this hard. This is my dream - I underestimated how difficult the decision to follow it would be.
Does the fact that this is so agonizing mean that I should stay or go?