This time of the year is always weird.
So many endings collide with so many beginnings, and I guess it only makes sense, but somehow it all feels too natural.
Next year will bring a lot of big changes. The end of Senate, the end of normal college life...yet somehow I'm calm about it. My last class was today. I have a take home final, and I'm done. Our last Senate meeting was tonight, and while part of me was sad, another part of me was satisfied with the work I had done and simply ready to move on.
Maybe this sense of peace is life telling me I made the right decision - by staying, deferring, doing an internship and student teaching.
Or maybe my brain is exhausted from the craziness of the last 2 years and it doesn't have the strength to analyze any more - only the strength to sit back and be okay with where the journey has led.
So many endings collide with so many beginnings, and I guess it only makes sense, but somehow it all feels too natural.
Next year will bring a lot of big changes. The end of Senate, the end of normal college life...yet somehow I'm calm about it. My last class was today. I have a take home final, and I'm done. Our last Senate meeting was tonight, and while part of me was sad, another part of me was satisfied with the work I had done and simply ready to move on.
Maybe this sense of peace is life telling me I made the right decision - by staying, deferring, doing an internship and student teaching.
Or maybe my brain is exhausted from the craziness of the last 2 years and it doesn't have the strength to analyze any more - only the strength to sit back and be okay with where the journey has led.
posted by Julie @ 6:28 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:37 PM ,
wanderer said...
Whenever I leave a place, I feel as if a sort of death is occuring; the ending of a process, like life, except a process created with the union of I and the environment.
Leaving in less than two weeks, I can look into a person's eyes, and think to myself, with greater certainty every day, that I may never see or hear of this person ever again, and they may never see or hear from me ever again; from a certain point of view, it is the equivalent of their deaths for me; for most of these people, the instant they walk out of my view for the last time in the next 12 days will be the last time I give them a fraction of thought, and many will receive only a few moments of thoughts; and I will be the same to them. They could die in 24 hours from that moment, and it wouldn't affect me at all, because I don't know them, and I wouldn't know what happened. Other people have more relevance, I will think about them, but even of these, they will slowly fade away in memory and contact (if there is any contact at all).
Who here will I know in a month? A year? A decade? When I'm an ancient? As time passes, ever fewer.
I suppose this can be interpreted as sad; I interpret it as inevitable, and what is inevitable is not essentially wrong, but I admit it may be a sad...not such that I think I should avoid thinking in this way, or that would cause me to cry and cling to that strange sort of life, or rage against that strange sort of death. It is bittersweet. All things pass, all things fade...it's time to move on. I smile a sad smile, look at the girls and boys I've been looking at quietly for four years, and as they pass from my view, they are as good as gone.
At 9:28 PM ,
Laura said...
Good Good. Logical.. here's what I say:
Yeah, you need some more of that, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the moment, the future comes soon enough. I promise.
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