Too consumed to keep up 2 blogs. I don't promise any posts until the end of the summer....check here for somewhat more frequent updates!

I drift between being ready and not ready but mostly I just want to pack up my car and drive back to Minneapolis and live in my aparment and have life be just as it was a month ago.
Why is forcing change (phrase stolen from her) so necessary to do the things I want to do in life? Dreams are much easier to live when they're only inside of your head.
I know I'll be fine, but there's always that 'I'll hate it there and make no friends and life will be hell' fear. I felt like this right before I left for college, too, only now I'm leaving 2 homes instead of 1...and then there's this boy who I expect to just walk in the door at any moment, enabling my life as I loved it to return to normal, only now he's 500 miles, soon to be 1,000 miles away and things are oh so un normal.

You were lost and got lucky
Came upon the shore
Found you were conquering America
You spoke of peace
But waged a war
While you were conquering America
There was land to take
And people to kill
While you were conquering America
You served yourself
Did God's will
While you were conquering America
The ghost of Columbus haunts this world
'Cause you're still conquering America
The meek won't survive
Or inherit the earth
'Cause you're still conquering America
You found bodies to serve
Submit and degrade
While you were conquering America
Made us soldiers and junkies
Prisoners and slaves
While you were conquering America
You hands are at my throat
My back's against the wall
Because you're still conquering America
We're sick and tired hungry and poor
'Cause you're still conquering America
You bomb the very ground
That feeds your own babies
You're still conquering America
Your sons and your daughters
May never sing your praises
While you're conquering America
I see you eyes seek a distant shore
While you're conquering America
Taking rockets to the moon
Trying to find a new world
And you're still conquering America
Tracy Chapman

Does anybody else think it's ironic that this is one of Aaliyah's (my biracial niece growing up in conservative Kansas) favorite songs?
She dances and claps and when it's over says, "Again! Again!"
I hope that she'll never know what it means to not have something because of the color of her skin.

Summers Are Made of Sprinklers and Ice Cream Cones

Just when I got used to the transition, in between phase, it's almost over.
Brandon is here - wahoo! He'll leave Sunday, then I fly out Monday for my interview. Back on Tuesday night with time to pack and say goodbyes that have been said many times over the past 5 years. Thank God I'm used to this being away, no going home on the weekends thing - it will make the transition easier, I think.
Life is crazy, but good.
My goal over the summer is to balance the craziness with the goodness...

Back In My Element

With a soy chi and a veggie sandwich on bread with lots of grains and feta cheese.
For desert I get to have an ABC cookie - just like in Minneapolis :) I just about jumped up and down when I saw that little Topeka, Kansas had them too, and that they were half the price!!!
Time to get to work on TFA papers...
B, when you visit, we're totally going here.

I Miss...

Seeing him when I want to and how he used to call me on the way home from work
Emma and the Twins and Kade and Loch and afternoon walks with strollers and the peacefulness of nap time
Coffee shops and Evergreen and good ethnic takeout
Sirens and horns and voices speaking in languages I didn't understand
Target and the Wedge being 5 minutes away
Having a place for all of my 'stuff' that isn't a storage unit or the back of a trailer
I feel like somebody hit the pause button on my entire life...but the stack of curriculum to finish and boxes to go through tells me I'm not ready for them to hit play.

Other People's Words

Because she said it when I didn't have the energy to.