His myspace says single.
Ouch

Disclaimer:
Sorry to everyone suprised by the previous post - I'm not at the point where I could call and tell anyone yet...

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
James Blunt

So cliche, but incredibly true. It's over...for now, which means I'm single...for now. There is no anger or fighting or resentment - the opposite actually - a very painful realization that despite the love and history and support for/belief in each other that still exists, what we have is not enough. I refuse to fight for this long distance, not after doing it for 2 years, and he can't, or won't, move. He's trying but there comes a point when trying isn't good enough and I have to pick up the pieces of the past 2 and a half years and move on, not knowing exactly what life has in store for either one of us.
I love him.
He's my best friend.
I can see myself marrying him someday.
But today we broke up, and despite the tears neither one of us could stop crying, I think it was the right decision.

Happy Birthday!

To my favorite little girl in the entire world, who is now officially not a baby anymore.
Who'd have known 2 years ago what a cool little person life had in store for all of us :)

Homesick

For Hard Times and bulk bins at the Wedge and my running path with hills at just the right spots.
For Spyhouse and the twins and Emma and Kade and Loch...
For my little apartment and the boy who used to like to visit on his way home from work.
Life is different here. Relationships are still very on the surface and I miss the connection that comes from 5 years of persevering together.
I miss lakes and trees and clean air.
I miss the me I had finally learned to be in my last couple of months there.
I miss hippies and recycle bins and the park across the street and watching American Idol on Tuesday nights and....everything.
New York is not home yet and until it is the process of weaning myself off of the people and places of Minnesota is going to be very....painful...

Today I'm missing something
In this small new england town.
Here's to you my best friend.
Just wanted to say that I miss having you around.
I'm staring at your picture and dreaming that I could hold your hand.
We'd walk down to the ocean and I would write your name in the sand.
They say sometimes you need some time apart but I've got a bad case of broken heart.
And you're the only one who's got the cure.
And I can't live another day without seeing you smile.
The Ataris

Lots of significant others around this weekend. I was happy for other people, but sad for me. This afternoon was full of long hugs and "I'll see you next weekend"s...people who live only 4 or 5 hours away and for the first time the fact that I don't know WHEN I'll see him next was enough to make me miss him the entire day.